There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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