and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
