I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Come see our sink grown plant.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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