bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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