So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
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I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I believe in your delicious
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying