so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
did i walk over a car last night?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.