not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.