wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT