Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
