My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
