there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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