Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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