oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
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