i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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