you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
