I need help removing her.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
