I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
