She's JV to your varsity
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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