he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You don't make any sense
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