I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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