You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
