I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
