I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
