she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
