I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize