I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
