I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
