i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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