You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize