my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
