At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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