Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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