It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
