just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he shaved USA in his pubs
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
