I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
