I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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