i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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