so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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