Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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