When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
