Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
