So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
