**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Nicole vs. Life
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
