He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
