You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
