You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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