she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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