The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
