; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my shit smells like andre
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
