The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
