my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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