I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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