Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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