Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
