she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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