...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize