are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
