Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
