Soap is not a condiment
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
