I never want to see another naked old woman again.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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