I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
