his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I understand Curling. That high.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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