And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize