Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.