Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
birth control should be required to get into college
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?