dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
