is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.