and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar