Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
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You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
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I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals