Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
