You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
