I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.