i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.