Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.