Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I have aggressive nipples.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
