the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
