we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
